Monday, April 28, 2014

On Broken Dreams

Ok, "On Broken Dreams" is a tad dramatic for what this post is really all about.  Don't get too worked up about that title yet, until I explain :)

This weekend, I was supposed to run the Country Music Half Marathon in Nashville, TN.  I paid the race entry fee and EVERYTHING.  And I didn't go.  For several reasons, but mainly because I didn't train for the run.  Several weeks ago when it was time to start upping my mileage and all that good stuff, I made the conscious decision not to do it.  The part that makes me the most sick about this is that I also forfeited my chance to see Charles Esten, Clare Bowen and Chase Rice in concert.  This decision also meant altogether failure on my 30 Before 30 list.  Next year when this race rolls around, I'll be the big 3-0.

You are probably wondering what made me skip this race, especially after having paid for it.  Wouldn't shelling out the money beforehand be a good motivation to get the training in?  Well, you would think so.  I have several excuses and I'm not going to get into them all here-- I simply didn't do the work necessary to run the race.

Which leads me to the whole 30 Before 30 list, or Bucket Lists, in general.  As I look back over my list, that I created almost 2 years ago, I see lots of issues.

  • I have now seen the color run and have no desire to run it.  It's fun to watch, but I'm not interested in having all that colored chalk sucked up my nostrils.  No thanks.
  • Doing the Avon 2-day Breast Cancer walk is a HUGE commitment.  One that I still want to do, but will take several years of planning and saving, none of which I have done yet.  Add to that the fact that my partner-in-crime is expecting a little one in a few months, and we are going to put this off for a while.
  • I remember vividly making this list, wanting to push myself to run a longer distance, and thinking the Country Music Half looked like so much fun.  And that is the entire thought process that went into adding this item to the list.  So really, if I break it WAY down, my bottom line was running a half and I've done that.  Twice.  And while I still want to do more long races, I feel like I could cross this off my list.....   
  • Other big ticket (i.e.: priced) items like "Visit New Orleans" and "See Ground Zero" are still definitely things I want to do, I just don't see them happening in the next 8 months (that's when I turn 30.. shhhh).
So all this rambling about broken dreams and 30 Before 30 lists has led me to this:  I'm renaming my list.  (I know, that was a lot of build up for nothing.)  30 Before 30 is soon going to become my Bucket List.  And I'm allowing myself the freedom to change or edit this list however I want to, because it's my list and I can do that.  So there.

And now I'm curious-- 30 Before 30, 40 Before 40, 100 Before 100, Bucket List (whatever list you have)---what things are on YOUR list?

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